Hola, amigos!
I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya...
No, wait... I stole that introduction completely from the Onion -- Jim Anchower's page. He says that every time he has a column... But it's funny as Hell, and I encourage all of you to check it out on theOnion.com. Jim Anchower is the guy we all went to High School with -- one of the guys wearing the Army jacket, that hung out in the Smoking Lounge down near the wood shop in High School.
But that's not me. Anymore, anyway. I fit that bill for a few years after graduation, then I went on to be a college pothead at the University of Illinois. A post-graduate straight-guy, I tossed all that aside and grunted my way through a career in the construction industry -- thank you, U of I, and got married, raised a family, etc...
Readers of my blog know that my old employer folded -- a family-owned firm that succumbed to a nasty combination of the economy and family feuds. So last year I was out on my ear. My severance pay, after 35 years on the books, was an offer of a cab ride after I dropped off my truck. I declined.
But after a free-fall full of side-jobs and family home repairs, I landed the best job I can imagine, a job as the foreman of the Carpentry Shop at the Art Institute of Chicago.
I'm about to finish my 90-day probation period, and if they like me enough to keep me, I'm going public with my blog that I think this is the best job in the world!
That's funny - I wrote that the day before the Art Institute fired me. Seems that old Mayor Rahm Emanuel had a nephew that needed a job, so I got canned. I never finished that blog entry. Or wrote another blog until today.
Since then I've moved on. Got hired by a classmate from apprenticeship school to work at Woodrow Development, a non-union piece of shit scab outfit, and that lasted for 15 months. But the owner got tired of trying to turn me into an asshole and let me go. Spent a month working at Ace Hardware for peanuts, then Metro Storage hired me to be superintendent on a big storage facility job in Addison. 908-unit building. 15 month project. I had a $12.8 million budget, and brought it in at $11.4 million. Saved them $1.4 million. My bonus check was $500. Fuckers.
Then FH Paschen hired me a month later. Loved that job. Lasted there 30 months until Covid-19 shut down our industry. That's when I decided to retire.
Meanwhile, I got diagnosed with cancer three different times. Surgery settled the first case, chemo settled the second, and now it's wait-and-see with the third dose of the big C. I'm not going down without a fight. I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'...
This blog isn't as funny as some of my others. Hmmm... sorry.
It's my birthday tomorrow, but things have changed so much... 42 years ago I had a birthday party that lasted 14 hours, with 100+ guests, kegs of beer, squares of blotter acid, bags of weed, LOUD MUSIC... neighbors called the cops at 2 a.m. -- everything. Tomorrow will feature me walking my beagle Rhonda and drinking a Pineapple Margarita. Woot woot! Maybe grill a steak - idk
It's hell to get old.
But it beats the alternative. Several of my classmates from school have stopped getting old via the graveyard, so I'm ahead of the game for at least a little while. DNA tests on my latest tumor tell me I have a 98 percent chance to live at least 15 more years, so that means I'm prolly gonna get hit by a bus soon...
But for now I'm content to make some chili-dogs for me and some beanie-weenies for Robin. If I can survive that kind of diet, I'm bullet-proof. I'll write more next time something funny happens.
