Spring is in the Air -- and on the edges of the Roads

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Gosh, it seems like winter's almost over and spring is just around the coroner. Can't wait. The snow's melting, and the entire winter's worth of frozen dog shit is revealing itself day by day along the quiet suburban streets. How grand. But anyway, the weather's getting better. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Daylight Savings Time starts after this weekend, which should give everyone one extra hour of daylight to do whatever it is people do during daylight. In my case, that would be nothing. I've been unemployed since late October, which is my longest personal streak of ass-sittin' since 1987. Still waiting for the economy to rebound.

I saw the layoff coming, and lined up a nice bunch of side jobs, but they've all wrapped up. And I've caught up on most of the fix-it projects around the house -- those that don't involve huge wads of money -- and now I'm in damage-control-only mode.

So I have a lot of loafing time. If you're my friend on Facebook, you already know this. I've found a wealth of semi-amusing crap on the web, and I repost several times a day on FB. I'm mainly stealing from theChive, theBrigade, theOnion, throttle.com, and a few others. Believe me, those sites can suck your day DRY with their nonsense, and links to other nonsense. So my days are full.

Plus, every Wednesday, I get to drag my neighbor's empty garbage cans from the street into their driveway, to remind them that, hey, MONDAY was garbage day, and everyone else on the street has already taken their cans out of the public way.

As far as looking for work, I sent out a load of resumes and made the rounds, but construction work is very down. I took a chance on a career change by applying for a spot as Carpenter Foreperson at the Art Institute of Chicago, but that didn't pay off either. It was a great-sounding gig -- modifying the galleries and building the displays for multi-million dollar art exhibits. Inside work, paid holidays & vacations.

While I was interviewing and waiting for the results, I had to back off my nuttier postings on the web and on Facebook, but it was worth the risk. I bought a new suit, got a haircut, shined up my teeth and got new contacts... here goes!

I actually got pretty close -- made the second interview, got down to the final three choices, but no luck. So now I feel like the bronze/silver medal winning doofuses (doofi?) at the Olympics -- everyone says we should be proud to finish as high up as we did! I am proud -- but there's still no fucking paychecks for second or third place in the Employment Olympics.

Taking that job would have meant a major pay cut, quitting the Carpenter's Union, losing my insurance -- a whole lot of major changes. But it would have meant a paycheck and a potential end-game to this working-for-a-living thing we all seem to be trying to wrap up as early as possible. Plus I wouldn't be at the whim of every economic downturn that comes along... But it was not to be. So back to Plan A -- hoping my old employer comes up with some jobs, and soon! And hoping like Hell that the economic upturn will hit my sector sooner than later...

But rather than sulk and feel sorry for myself, I choose to rejoice in my blessings. I have a wife with a great job; we're not in danger of losing our house; I have three wonderful adult children -- and only two of them still live at home while they're finishing school and/or send out resumes!

I rejoice that I have a dog that rarely bites me, and in fact, only snarls occasionally. I have an entire aquarium full of guppies that absolutely LOVE me! (Hey guys! It's the chubby guy! He's coming over here again! I bet he's gonna throw food at us again! Let's swim back and forth like maniacs!)

And I rejoice that Spring is truly coming. I know this because the sun is warm, the birds are chirping, and the one thing that always tells me that the snow is going to be gone, without question, for another year: State Farm has just sent me a bill for the insurance on my snowmobile.

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